This site powered by delusions of eventual success
Well, I am on my 4th round of optimizing PCR (finally got a smear and considered that a big improvement over getting NOTHING). Cross your collective e-fingers, everybody!
Meanwhile, and I was pretty relieved about this, my experiment on the weekend kinda worked. I still couldn't bring myself to come in on Sunday, though. I sat around and looked at my data, trying to figure out if it's really what I think it is... I'm probably blinded by optimism again, but I think it supports my hypothesis, my crazy hypothesis, that I came up with about 2 years ago and wasn't crazy enough to actually try testing until now. I figured, what the hell, at this point my whole project is questionable, what have I really got to lose?
So... being potentially right is always good. But it means I have a helluva lotta work to do. And I suspect my advisor will be pissed if I tell her about it. That may have to wait until later.
And, I have to give lab meeting in 3 weeks. No stress there!
I also have to give journal club at the end of this week. Bad enough sitting through journal club. Presenting a paper I didn't pick, I'm not sure I fully understand, on a topic I don't particularly like, will be a special kind of joy.
Lab meeting today was really painful, and I sat there squirming (we all did) at all the blatantly missing controls, wondering if my own work looks that bad to people who aren't working on it?
Anyway I am trying to remind myself that the truly successful are usually people who always envision only the best for themselves.
I also registered for a local meeting for women in science. I have to go to a bachelorette party that same night, so, it will be a very long, very girly day. Not particularly looking forward to that. Could really use some small doses of girliness on a regular basis, rather than all in one lump.
Mostly trying to keep busy in a hands-on sort of way, I am just not in the frame of mind to try working on writing my grant. Somehow that's a whole other level of delusion I just can't get to right now.