Am I alone? I think holidays suck.
There. I said it.
I'm bored. And depressed. My family is giving me guilt trips.
What else is new.
I have very few people to share this with, since most people around me, and even in blog-land, seem to be saying "Happy holidays! Cheers!" and that kind of crap.
I just want this week to be over, which is stupid because from what I can tell, January has the potential to be really, really bad.
Seriously, I'm looking at what's on my calendar, and it does not look good.
So I'm trying to figure out how to get out of this funk. I'm thinking about trying to get some errands done, pretend I'm a Real Person, with a Life, even if I'm not and don't particularly want to be.
I want to be in lab, doing fun experiments and having them work, but I don't have the stuff I need to do the experiments I'd like to try. The ones where I Want The Answer. The rest are things I should do, but they'll be tedious so I'm procrastinating. One thing nobody tells you about being a postdoc is that stuff that used to be fun for its own sake becomes tedious when you've done it hundreds or thousands of times.
The thought of what it would take, what I would need to do, to get what I need to do the interesting experiments just makes me want to stay in bed all day. Or give up altogether on this science thing. It just feels really pointless right now.
I've been over at AcademicSecret reading about how much it sucks to be a professor, and wondering what would I want to do that for? Is it really just more of the same?
And reading about how some fields have rumor mill blogs where people post the actual names of people who were invited for interviews. This just blows my mind. As much for the way it's done as for realizing that I'm not sure which is worse: knowing or not knowing how it really works. Is denial better, even if you know on some level just how fucked up it is?
And reading ScienceProfessor's post about all the stuff she got done this year made me cry. Literally.
2006 sucked. I didn't get anything done that I wanted, and mostly didn't have any fun, either.
And I have no reason to believe 2007 will be any different.