Revisiting recurring themes.
Had a rather emotional chat with my therapist this week. The suggestion (she doesn't know I have a blog), was that I should write about some of these things that came up. As it turns out, I already have. I had fun re-reading these. I hope you will, too.
One of the themes was Respect. How I feel like I don't get any.
I searched for that among my past posts, and found these:
Women can't argue
Relating to authority figures
Why I hate being a postdoc
Leader of the pack
Rodney Dangerfield disease
So to sum those up, the point is that I thought scientists would value quality, not bullshit, and be capable of respecting quality when they see it. But scientists are just as blinded by bullshit as everyone else.
Another theme was feeling like I have no voice, that I'm not heard. Some of that is tied up with the Respect issue, but mostly it has to do with being female and a postdoc.
Nobody cares about your blog
Because I can?
Your work is not your own
And finally, the "tree falls in an empty forest" phenomenon, the idea that nobody knows or cares what you do, a post I wrote 2 years ago that nicely summarizes how I've been feeling for the last 2 years:
I still want to quit