Not much going on this week. Stupid holiday parties with greasy food and lots of alcohol. Yum.
Mostly I've been biting my tongue, trying not to snap at people asking how the job search is going. What is it about holiday parties that gives otherwise shy people the courage to ask incredibly insensitive questions?
I finally lost it the other day at a friend who is visiting from out of town. Hint: I'm trying not to complain so much (at least in real life), so if I'm not talking about it, I have nothing good to say!
(If you're reading this, my apologies.)
Meanwhile, I'm in holiday procrastination mode.
I don't mean I'm procrastinating about the holiday itself. I did all my shopping and delivered most of the gifts already. (I strongly suspect they have all been opened even though it's not actually Christmas yet.)
No, I mean real procrastination. I have work to do, I really do.
The work I really want to do, I can't do until January.
The work I don't want to do... seems less appealing even than cleaning my house.
So I am prioritizing (aka procrastinating about by writing blogs) how I am going to be cleaning my house. In theory, this will make me feel better about doing the work I don't want to do, because I really hate cleaning.
Do I tackle the grout in the bathroom? Or the kitchen floor? Decisions, decisions.
I did the dishes. Then I dug out my desk from a giant pile that got moved there the last few times we had someone drop by for dinner. Mail (bills, coupons that will expire before we think about using them) and journal articles tend to accumulate on the kitchen table. Actually there are journal articles everywhere. I'm trying to file them, I swear.
I love the new Preview that came with Leopard. I will try to read papers this way instead of printing them out. Thank you for saving the trees I have been killing.
Mostly I love this place that we've been renting. But the other day I was noticing that I have a curling iron that I haven't been able to use in years, because we don't have any electrical plugs in the bathroom. And I thought, "Should I get rid of that?"
Mostly the thing that has been bugging me about the lack of job... is that the last 2+ years I keep thinking we might be moving, because either my funding will run out, or I will get promoted. It's a weird tightrope to live on. I think you're supposed to walk across it in a relatively short amount of time, but I'm literally camped there. I have a tent and everything.
So we might be moving, but we don't know when or where. So then I think, "Should I get rid of these old clothes? Should I get a suit for the mythical future interviews?"
And I think about getting rid of most of the things I own, because I figure hey, that helps if we move (keeps the cost down) OR if we're homeless (nowhere to put them anyway). Except for the old clothes. I'm going to need to those to keep warm in layers when I'm sleeping on a sewer grate.
The thing that bugs me the most is that we really are worse off than our parents.
I realized that somewhere deep down, I thought I would have, you know, an electrical plug in my bathroom by now. Not that I need to or want to curl my hair on a daily basis, I just wish I had the option to, once in a while. You know, when I have to get dressed up for lab Christmas parties, put on a polite face, and bite my tongue. At least my hair would look good, even if I have no career progress to report.
Okay moldy grout, here I come.