All in all, I actually had a pretty good week. Made some progress both personally and professionally. Not as much as I would like, but progress.
And I have something to look forward to in about a month, but not much between now and then that I have any real control over.
And so, sitting quietly in my house on a Saturday, which I haven't done in a while, I'm feeling reflective and not particularly happy.
The event next month feels a bit too far off. I have things to do in the meantime, but none of them are particularly fun.
So I'm trying to get up the energy to stop reading blogs, do some laundry and/or go shopping. I have no food, and several clothing coupons I should use before they expire tomorrow.
Because I really do need to try to find more of that ever-elusive genre, the comfortable and only slightly stylish work clothes (not too stylish, see recent post) that are not too expensive to be worn at the bench (since the reason I'm shopping now is to replace my other perfectly functional clothes that got ruined by bleach spots and acid holes).
Ugh. It is a nearly impossible task, I know, but it has to be done.
(note: This is the researcher mentality!)
But a large part of me wants to sit on the couch and do nothing all day. I haven't done that in a while. But I think I'll regret being passive and lazy more than I would regret being productive yet annoyed.
Shopping with my own money is just a necessary evil. I like the products but the process annoys me. And I know I will probably just come home later tired, with several bags in tow. Consumerism is really a disease.
Sigh. I'm also torn about trading off quiet time. If I go shopping, it will be alone, and when I come home I will want to be alone.
If I stay home, it will be alone, but I would not mind trying to make plans to have dinner with a friend I rarely get to see.
I am feeling noncommittal about calling her in advance to make plans, knowing full well I might not want to deal with anyone after spending most of the day shopping.
Well I guess I am decided on shopping, or at least trying anyway. I would also like to get an oil change for my long-suffering car... and a haircut... why oh why can't you order these things on the internet.
I hate running errands on the weekend, everything is always mobbed. As a grad student I never felt guilty about taking off during the week to run errands, but as a postdoc face time seems more critical than ever, so I can never bring myself to skip out on a weekday.
Which leaves me on a Saturday feeling guilty. The things I own, and wear, own me.