Sunday, August 10, 2008

Things that would make my life easier.

Dear Internet,

I know you are everywhere and very powerful, able to recover lost things and influence the outcomes like a giant magic 8-ball in the sky.

Today I call upon you to send me a few things I need. In no particular order:

1. A tailor that is open on Sundays, who already knows how long my pants should be so I don't have to try them on one at a time.

2. The right kind of centrifuge. Yeah, you know it's ridiculous that we don't have our own and I have to go use someone else's.

3. Someone I trust to take my car to get a checkup & tuneup and then bring it back to me, all while I'm at work so I don't have to worry about getting a ride.

4. A cleaning service.

5. More Joss Whedon.

6. A grant would be nice. I haven't applied for any lately, I want the kind that shows up in the mail with a very authentic-looking letter from someone very rich who just thinks my project is cool and wants a tax write-off.

7. More sleep.

8. A personal hairdresser.

9. A new wardrobe, please. The kind that just appears in my closet where my old clothes used to be.

10. An energetic, OCD technician to do the tedious parts so I can just do the fun stuff.

11. A long, all expenses paid (no tipping allowed) vacation somewhere with no people except the ones waiting on me hand and foot (who are paid very well because they deserve it).

That would be great, thanks.

Sincerely,

msphd

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4 Comments:

At 4:30 PM, Blogger Steph said...

Dear Internet,

Please give me

1. More sleep.
2. Somewhere to live.
3. Health Insurance.
4. More Joss Whedon.
5. A bigger suitcase.

Thank you.

 
At 5:38 PM, Blogger Unbalanced Reaction said...

Ah, yes. The world needs more OCD technicians.

You know what sucks? My hairdresser quit and didn't tell me so I couldn't get a much-needed last cut from her before departing LargeUtown forever. Now I'm stuck in a "city" of <6k. My hair is scared.

 
At 7:01 PM, Anonymous JR said...

MsPhD

This is in response to your Dear John letter a few posts back. You have much more to offer than you give yourself credit for. Direction and opportunity are the only things you are lacking. Continuing to stay in your current situation is doing nothing besides aging you and contributing to immeasurable psychological damage. Sometimes you just have to take the blind leap of faith and hope things work out for the best. I can assure you that there is nothing worse than your current situation.

And don't bother with the book. You continue to think that your situation is special and unique and everyone wants to know all the details. The problem is that people everyday are dealing with the same struggle. How many girls move to Hollywood to fail at becoming the next Julia Roberts? How many failed Michael Jordans are on the school court? Everyone has a story of unfulfilled dreams. Yours is no different. You think it is because it is your life and this is probably the first time you have not succeeded in something you set out to do. The story is not in the failed dream, but in the unexpected change of direction and the eventual rise to success. That is the story I am waiting for and that is the blog worth reading. You won't do any damage to the system with a tell all book because the system doesn't care. They will rewrite your history to suit their needs. You will become a non-person. This has happened to me. The greatest damage you can do is your continued transparency in documenting your career decisions showing all the young people who read this blog that there are more measures of success in science besides a tenure track position.

 
At 9:49 AM, Blogger Ms.PhD said...

JR says,

You have much more to offer than you give yourself credit for.

Thanks, I think.

Direction and opportunity are the only things you are lacking.

Disagree. I have direction. Maybe too much direction. What I don't always have enough of is ambition, motivation, perseverance, drive...

And you're wrong, I have had opportunity. At least, I think I have. I have not always known how to make the best of it. And I may not have had enough of it. But I've had a lot of advantages and have not always capitalized.

Continuing to stay in your current situation is doing nothing besides aging you and contributing to immeasurable psychological damage.

Arguably true. I guess we'll see when the Grand Experiment is over, if that's all I get out of it.

Sometimes you just have to take the blind leap of faith and hope things work out for the best.

Have been doing that, actually. Research is always blind.

I don't have faith, and I always -and never- hope for the best.

I can assure you that there is nothing worse than your current situation.


Disagree. As do most homeless people, starving people, unemployed people who would love a nice air-conditioned lab to work in, even if all they got to do was sweep the floors.

And lots of grad students, who would probably argue that Same Shit, Better Salary would be an improvement of their current situations.

And don't bother with the book. You continue to think that your situation is special and unique and everyone wants to know all the details. The problem is that people everyday are dealing with the same struggle.

Well, disagree. I never said my situation was unique. Actually I think it's representative. That would be a better reason for writing a book.

I wouldn't be writing it to change the system, I know the system wouldn't pay attention.

I'd be writing it for the students who don't know any better.

A little smear campaign can go a long way.

They will rewrite your history to suit their needs. You will become a non-person. This has happened to me.

I'm sorry to hear this happened to you. I see what you mean.

But I'd argue that I'm already a non-person, so what difference would it make? None to me.

The greatest damage you can do is your continued transparency in documenting your career decisions showing all the young people who read this blog that there are more measures of success in science besides a tenure track position.

Thanks. Will try to keep doing as much damage as possible. And being as transparent as one pseudo-nonymously can be.

But I'd argue that at this point, I'm not looking for success in science, and haven't been for a long time. I'm trying to figure out how to live a happy, productive life, science or otherwise.

 

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