Nevermind, I don't really want a career.
It's that time of year- the time when everyone seems to be running Career Workshops.
The women are doing them, the postdocs are doing them, my professional societies are doing them.
I don't want to attend any of them.
I've been there, heard that, and it doesn't really help.
I mean, if you're totally naive and think it's as simple as A + B --> Career, then by all means, go.
But you can't make me go. No.
And I would really appreciate it if I could get fewer emails about them. Maybe I can set up a filter on my email (-Career)?
Lately I am thinking about grants and whether to apply for industry and/or academia, and I have to be honest with myself. I don't want to do any of it.
I'm tired of the whole Sisyphus thing, and I'm tired of being miserable.
I'm tired of working my butt off and having nothing to show for it.
I'm tired of never having a vacation and every year wondering if I will have insurance next year or how much I should pay in estimated taxes, since there's a significant chance that I'll have no job at all?
I'm tired of deciding every day what to do next, or having my plans all in shambles because the shared equipment is always broken (I'm tired of getting those emails about what's broken now).
No really, what's broken now? Because I so wanted to use that thing last week when my samples were ready!
I'm especially tired of people giving me Career Advice I Didn't Ask for.
What I could use is a little, I don't know. Painkiller?
I am tired of recovering from the delusion that it would be possible to get a job doing what I was "trained" for. Little did I know that recovering from it would be worse than realizing it.