Wednesday, February 24, 2010

mixed bag

I'm getting old: got called m'am twice in one day this week.

So much for my woulda coulda career: had a student say they wish they got to participate in search committees, because they would make sure I got hired. Awww. So touching, how little they understand about how things work.

Progress: got some writing done. realized I am writing the easy parts first. and probably over-writing lots of things that no one else will care about, at least not in such excruciating detail. anyway it's always easier to write more and then cut it, than the other way around.

still, the most emotionally difficult chapters are being put off for now. but things that were very upsetting or weird at the time really do lose their cutting edge if you wait long enough. usually. or get some kind of perspective somehow.

stupid computer problems: always seem to crop up at junctures when it makes no sense to buy a new one. and yet, always still poses a headache.

sexism is everywhere: spoke to someone who works in game testing for a living. he said a lot of the best testers are women, "Because they'll actually do the tests." he said women do all the work of checking to make sure everything is running the way it was designed to run. the guys don't do well in those kinds of jobs because they just want to play. I didn't say anything, because I couldn't think of a sufficiently witty response to his mansplaining. as if girls don't want to play. uh huh.

on exercising: and it really does seem to help. not as much as spending huge chunks of time away from evil people, though. it's amazing how much better it is not to have to deal with certain soul-sucking situations on a daily basis.

buffy: was pleased to find a reruns on MTV in the morning every day.

meh: occasionally have random thoughts that seem appropriate for the blog. will post them here, probably in this kind of very brief format, for now.

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At 5:00 PM, Blogger a physicist said...

yay for occasional blog posts! and yay for getting writing done. Good luck with it.

At 11:03 AM, Blogger Cloud said...

The antidote to being called "ma'am" is to go hang out in a bar that cards everyone. It always makes me feel younger to get carded. (It also cracks me up, because I'm 37 and know that I don't look anything like a 21 year old.)

I've been thinking about your last post. I'm an occasional lurker here, and even more occasional commenter. I hope you find a plan B that is worthy of you. I hope you can get to a place where the plan B even makes you happy.

When I hit a career funk (not as profound as yours, but still, a funk), my husband and I took 4 months off and traveled. I came back with a much better perspective on things, some amazing memories and souvenirs, and a great tan. It is surprisingly cheap to travel in southeast asia. Just something to think about- not advice.

At 2:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi MsPhD I'm so glad that you are still blogging!! After years of everyone telling you that you should leave your toxic lab environment, now you finally have? I hope that even though the situations are not ideal, that the very fact of being removed from such a toxic environment will make it worth it. best wishes!!

At 1:19 AM, Anonymous GrrlScientist said...

when your book comes out, please do make sure i get a review copy!

At 12:10 PM, Blogger butterflywings said...

Yay for getting writing done. Look forward to (eventually) reading the book.

Ah, student naivety...ah, how the right people never actually get hired/ promoted.

Ha, I have started to get called 'madam' (UK equivalent of ma'am) ocasionally and it always freaks me out. But then, I still get ID-ed sometimes. I have concluded that perception of age is very subjective.

At 7:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been called "ma'am" since I was an undergrad!! But at the same time, as recently as a month ago I was still getting carded and usually people think I'm a lot younger than I actually am. I don't think being called "ma'am" is a reflection of how old you look, I think that these days every female past puberty gets called "ma'am." Cos otherwise what do they get called? "Miss"? that is so outdated.


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