See also: the drawing board, back to.
Can't sleep. Thought, eh, maybe I'll blog.
Actually I think I'm just hungry and/or went over my threshold for caffeine tolerance. I guess I should add green tea to my list of "none after 7 pm".
However, the 3 AM last homemade cookie? That I can do.
So my experiments today did not work. But hey, at least I know what went wrong because I did CONTROLS. So I don't mind. Because tomorrow I can try again.
Yes, today was one of those days when I am glomming onto the tiny glimmer of actual SCIENCE because the rest of the day was pure, unadulterated bullshit.
First, I had to listen to the 'campus expert' on a subject explain a technique to me. Basically the protocol is:
a) have too much money
b) buy anything and everything you need pre-made, instead of actually knowing how to do it yourself.
Hmph. Thanks. And you're the expert, huh? What are we, industry now? Aren't we supposed to understand how these things work in academia well enough to do it ourselves for a fraction of the price?
Or is that just another one of my delusions?
And I had to listen to - I know, this will shock you! - a grad student who does not understand controls. And his advisor who, so far as I can tell, does not understand how to train anyone.
My favorite part is how advisors blame the students, as if it's not in any way their job to provide training (or at least foist these clueless students off on postdocs who are capable of training a grad student). In this particular case, I'm pretty sure the student is clueless and/or lazy, but I still don't blame the student for not knowing. When are you supposed to learn these things if no one is teaching you?
I don't know about you, but I learned how to do controls IN LAB. I did not learn about controls in class.
.... Um, nope, not in any class.
WHY DON'T THEY TEACH THAT IN CLASS???
And finally. I had to listen to one of the ultimate White Guys telling another White Guy grad student how to go about getting a postdoc position to be successful in his career.
Okay, so are you ready? Here goes:
Find an NAS HHMI* advisor and do whatever it takes to get the recommendation letter.
Ta da! That's the advice. This is science, folks. This is THE 'mentoring.'
The really frightening part of this story was that this same guy said when he gets CVs of people who are 20 years out of school applying for various upper-level positions, he still looks at WHERE they did their PhD and postdoc. WITH WHOM.
Because he thinks that connotes quality better than any other factor.
Yes, and. This particular White Guy is young enough that he will be around giving this wonderful advice to several more generations of grad students to come.
Hearing things like this I think, who am I kidding?
According to him, I should have quit after grad school, because I didn't have a C/N/S paper from the lab of a Famous White Guy from my thesis work. Then maybe I shouldn't have gotten those postdoc fellowships after all? They should have just told me "thanks, take a hike!"? YOU'LL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH??
So what I got from this is, not only are generations of grad students being told the exact OPPOSITE of what I would say, even if I had my own lab, clearly there are still going to be PIs who would not want to send their own grad students to do a postdoc with me, as a junior, female, non-acronymed professor.
Not that I'm sure I could stomach having any postdocs of my own, since it would mean propagating this "system" that I hate. I guess I could still try to be the ultimate PI I've always wanted to be, and actually, you know, help my postdocs get jobs and papers and stuff.
Ha ha ha.
In other news, I started reading a book called "From Sabotage to Success" by Sheri O. Zampelli. I think it's going to tell me how to get out of my negative rut. Or something. So far it's really good, actually.
And eventually I hope I will be able to get some more sleep. This is the second night this week I had trouble sleeping. Must be all the languishing.
*(and therefore, most likely MALE)