Monday, April 13, 2009

You go, girl.

It's only Tuesday, and I am already having one of those weeks.

In the midst of my misery, my friends have had nothing but success.

One got a C/N/S paper. She isn't any smarter and doesn't work any harder than any of the rest of us, but she is possibly the nicest person on the planet. So in a karmic sense, I think she deserves it more than most.

Another friend got a K-grant. Same thing there, she's smart and works hard, not more than the rest of us, but she's also a genuinely caring person who makes time to be a real friend.

A third friend submitted a paper that was long overdue, after a record-breaking battle with her PIs. I'm hoping for her sake that after all this drama, it will get in. I've known her since she got the initial results for this paper, and let's just say that "long" is an understatement when I say long overdue.

It's funny how, because they're all such decent people, I'm not even jealous that they're making progress in all the areas where I'm not. In the past, yeah I would have been jealous and it really would have bothered me.

But I'm glad. I'm genuinely happy for them and for science and society, that we've come so far that I can honestly say I think I'm seeing the future of science in these women's faces.

I'm glad to see that, whatever else happens in science (and believe me, you don't want to know and I can't blog about it), there might be hope for a few decent people to make a contribution, be less miserable than I've been, and maybe even make science a better place.

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8 Comments:

At 5:31 AM, Blogger Thomas Joseph said...

She isn't any smarter and doesn't work any harder ...... and ...

...she's smart and works hard, not more than the rest of us ...... yet ...

... I'm not even jealous ...You sure about that?

 
At 6:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a woman, I am disappointed that you express your approval of your colleagues' successes in terms of their ... 'niceness', instead of their scientific merit. Yes, you mention that they're smart, but your approval only comes in when they're nice, too. This is the same gender bias that we complain about when it works against us.

 
At 8:04 AM, Blogger Ms.PhD said...

Thomas- No, I'm not sure.

Anon- Good zinger there, but that wasn't my point. My point is that MOST OF THE SCIENTISTS I WORK WITH ARE ASSHOLES WHO HAVE STOLEN, CHEATED AND STEPPED ON EVERYONE TO GET WHERE THEY ARE.

These women are not like that.

 
At 9:23 AM, Blogger Thomas Joseph said...

Thomas- No, I'm not sure.Ok. At least you're being honest, and that's certainly not a fault. I've been where you are too, and I'll freely admit I get a pang of jealousy here and there when I compare my accomplishments to my fellow graduates/friends. Despite most things being equal, there will be something I've seen them do that I wish I could've done. Then again, perhaps they view me with a similar streak of jealousy from time to time. I'll never know. My first point though was ... while you seemed to congratulate them, it seemed like you were minimizing them to a degree as well. That's not really fair to them, and IMO it reflects poorly on you too, and why stoop to that level?

So, say you're a bit jealous ... what are you going to do with it? Become bitter or use it to push yourself? Now, you may not become bitter over the work of your friends ... but by reading some of your writing here it's easy to come to the conclusion that you're jaded because of the actions of others.

Problem is, they could give a rats patooie. Why do you let them have such power over you?

 
At 1:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I too am really glad that "nice" people are succeeding. When I think about why women leave science, I ask myself whether it is difficulty with science itself, or the conduct and ethics - what we might call the culture - of science. My view is the latter. Personally, I value working with "nice" colleagues immensely. I feel much the same way as MsPhD - it gives me hope when I see ethical, hardworking, nice people succeed, especially women.

 
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At 5:56 PM, Anonymous mudphudder said...

Also in response to Thomas, I'll add, I wonder if it's just being too tired, worn-down, broken down to be jealous (care anymore). With some of the shit that happens to me (I do blog about it, although maybe I shouldn't), on some days I just feel numb.

Also, Ms. Phd, you wrote My point is that MOST OF THE SCIENTISTS I WORK WITH ARE ASSHOLES WHO HAVE STOLEN, CHEATED AND STEPPED ON EVERYONE TO GET WHERE THEY ARE.Amen to that!!!

And you gotta feel good for people who aren't like that.

 
At 6:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sure, nothing you can do but feel happy for them and wait for good things to happen to you eventually.

I feel pangs of jealousy when my friends succeed, but it's mostly because I know I won't be able to achieve the same results. At least not for that go-round.

 

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