Saturday, August 23, 2008

The Bitch Is Back.

Yeah, I was on a bit of a rampage yesterday.

I'm trying to do the Innocent Helpful act while telling people what they're doing egregiously wrong and to get the fuck out of my way.

Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't. Mostly it's all I can do to not scream uncontrollably at these people.

This week I'm disgusted by:

-PI's favorite new postdoc getting the one and only lab tech to help him on his project, when no one else gets any help whatsoever, and it's especially hard to understand why (besides politics) because FNP is one of the only people in the lab not applying for a job, trying to graduate, or about to get scooped (??)

-Being told that old, malfunctioning equipment that consistently ruins experiments "can't" be replaced because it's "too expensive", when I know the lab is spending hundreds of times more money other things

-Postdoc who is leaving to start his own lab gets first priority to finish his projects before he goes, while I have wait to finish my projects so I can even APPLY to start my own lab

-New postdocs trying to write fellowships, with zero training in grant writing from grad school, and PI isn't giving them honest or helpful feedback at all

-People from other labs who have been told I'll help them on shared equipment, WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU THAT, THIS IS NOT MY JOB!!!

-Senior grad students who still don't know to do a positive control EVERY TIME!!!

-Postdocs who get paid twice what I get paid, who don't know how to use their own equipment, much less set up an experiment, but I have to ask THEM to help ME because I'm not ALLOWED to use the equipment alone???

-Technicians who condescend to me like I'm a grad student so that I have to go running to PI to give Official Permission for me to do, like, anything at all

And plenty of other things I am trying to block out of my memory or can't blog about.

And I have to go to lab today.

Oh, goody.

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5 Comments:

At 1:52 PM, Blogger Unbalanced Reaction said...

Yikes. You *must* get out of there soon!

 
At 2:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just get out. You will be so much happier. And you will realize that most of what occurs in lab is total crap that people outside of your research niche give a crap about.

 
At 4:04 PM, Blogger butterflywings said...

I can completely understand your frustration.
All those things suck.

 
At 7:36 AM, Blogger andrea said...

Sonofabitch. That is beyond TFU.

Sometimes I think of getting a PhD, such as this semester where I'm working 12 hours a day in classrooms doing two jobs (plus about 2 hours prep a day) and will be working 6 hours on Saturdays in September.

If I had that PhD instead of just a MSc, I would stand a better chance of being a full-time prof instead of a part-time/temp adjunct with no benefits (hence jobs #2 and #3).

Then I consider all the insanity of the graduate degree world in science, and remember all the stress and illnesses and chronic sleep-deprivation and weight loss and the politics and long hours and ...

Wait a minute, I still have those things, aside from the illnesses. Something is WRONG with this picture...

 
At 7:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you. No matter what you are doing now, with or without real job. I am a female PhD-soon-to-be. Every time I feel that I can't take it anymore, I come to your blog. Knowing that I am not alone make me (a bit) calmer...
I just have to tell you "THANKS", and truly hoping that you are happy now. I will try to be happy too, even with all the crap and BS all around.

 

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